Just Say Goodnight
by little miss clueless
Summary: Riza decides to leave Roy after assuring his safety as Fuhrer... R
1. Say Goodnight

I'll Just Say Goodnight

_I love Royai… The only thing is… I suck at happily ever afters…_

Music : "Say Goodnight" by The Click Five

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I'll Just Say Goodnight

-Riza Hawkeye-

_It's been 10 months since Mustang sat on the Fuhrer's desk. He's running this country so smoothly and he's also lifted the Fraternization Law. However, his Miniskirt Law wasn't successful._

_The Ishballans had their place in the country, everyone is at peace and we're all working under him._

_Fullmetal has gone home to Resembool with his now-human brother and is to be wed to Winry._

_Havoc's finally married, Fuery's dating Sciezka, Falman's a dad, and Breda is in a relationship._

_Me, I'm still with Black Hayate. The Fuhrer and I have been closer since he ruled but I'm afraid it's just too much._

_I find no more relevance to my existence in the Military. My goal has been fulfilled. I was to push him to the top, and here he is now. The peaceful months are proof enough that he can handle all these by himself. He needs me no more. He's happy with the girl he married, the lady, who's lucky enough to hold Fuhrer Mustang in her arms, lucky enough to bear his child, to be his one and only love._

_All of those years we've spent together… It meant something to me. It meant something very important, something that kept me going through those years of helping him out. Unfortunately, it was something I over read._

_He was worried about me, he held me in his arms when I was injured, he said some pretty funny and romantic things without realizing it, he cared about me. I couldn't tell him I loved him then coz' it was against the rules._

_I hate thinking like a woman, I got hurt coz' I thought those were signs that he loved me back. Yeah, he did, as a friend. _

_The day I find out he was getting married, I shattered into pieces but his smile, his voice, his presence, his happiness prevented me from running away._

_On the wedding day, I wanted to object but the sparkle in his eye forced me to behave like the soldier I am._

_Working for more than a decade with him, falling in love with him ever since we met, and watching him every single day is killing me slowly. So I decided, it's time to end all this and live again._

_I'm 32 and I can handle myself well… It's time to walk away from something I can never have._

_So today, I enter the Fuhrer's office only to see Roy Mustang sleeping on the couch in his office._

_His right arm covering his eyes, his left dangling on the edge of the couch, fingers slightly touching the floor, his feet rested on the arm of the chair. He looked so peaceful._

_I left my resignation letter on his table and approached him. It was the last time I'm ever gonna allow myself to come this close to him. I smelled his scent, sweet scent of Roy. _

_The scent I'll never smell again. He groaned, removed his arm from his face, fluttered his eyes open._

"_Hey Hawkeye…" he yawned._

_I smiled at him. Goodbye isn't really something I could tell him that moment without bursting into tears. _

_I closed my eyes holding those tears back, still held that smile in place. I swallowed hard and hid my voice that's about to crack._

"_Just wanted to say… goodnight…" I uttered._

"_Yeah, it's already 9pm… I gotta get going too…" he stood up and picked up his jacket from the edge of the couch and stretched out._

"_I'll go ahead…" I managed to say._

"_Let me come with you…" he told me as he yawned one last time. He stood right behind me and followed me out._

_Once we were going to separate he smiled at me and said "Goodnight General!"_

_I turned back, forced a smile and immediately looked away when I felt my eyes sting._

_I walked back home, greeted by Black Hayate._

_I sat on the couch with my dog on my lap as tears silently flowed._

"_What do you say Black Hayate? Dublith, Drachma, Xing, Resembool, Aquroya? As long as it's far far far away from this place…" I asked my dog , wiping my tears._

_He looked at me as if he understood how I felt, he licked my face and I sobbed._

_I hugged him and said goodnight._

_A week later, we traveled to my hometown and that's where my journey to find who I am began._

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The title barely had anything to do with the fic but it's cute… R&R please!!!!


	2. Dear Roy, Sincerely Riza

Dear Roy… Sincerely, Riza

-Little Miss Clueless-

**A continuation… **

**Yes another fic inspired by another song…**

**Music: Dear Jamie, Sincerely Me**

**Artist: Hellogoodbye**

**Special thanks to Shubhs who reviewed, I hope you like this…**

**And to all those who favorite-d/alerted/read the first chapter.**

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_**Dear Roy… Sincerely Riza**_

-Riza Hawkeye-

_Should I tell him how I am? Should I tell him that I'm running away?_

_I gazed at Black Hayate looking for answers in his cute eyes. Unfortunately, there's nothing. All he could do was be cute and make me smile but he can't give me solutions to problems he'll never experience._

_Roy called my hometown for some reason. _

_People from around here did not like my father but they sure do adore 'his charming daughter' and Roy knew that. He asked about me, if I was here and of course the kind people of my neighborhood would not lie about my whereabouts._

_They told me he wanted to know if I was doing fine, when I'll return to central, and other stuff that I didn't wanna hear anymore coz' I'll just over read it again._

_I stared back at the empty paper on my desk. I'm gonna write everything I feel and send it to him, that way I could start over without feeling all that pain when I remember him._

"_I can't do this" I sighed._

_Black Hayate barked at me as if encouraging me that I could._

_I sat the tip of my fountain pen on the paper._

_Dear Roy,__ I wrote._

_I wanted to say I million things but I had to start with something simple._

_I know I didn't say goodbye properly but I had very little time to do so….__ No! No! No!..._

_I crumpled the paper and threw it away._

_Okay okay… I'm gonna do it right this time._

_To Roy,_

_I know I should've said goodbye but it hurt._

_I crumpled another paper… No this isn't right at all._

_Around 3 hours passed and I saw a mountain of crumpled paper beside Black Hayate, I sure am wasting a lot of paper and ink for someone I'll forget._

_Okay, this time I'm not gonna throw away this paper even if it's a whole load of crap._

_Dear Roy,_

_I'm sorry for not saying goodbye properly. I just wanted to have some time to think, a little time for me to relax. I know it wasn't right for me to just quit like that but I have no use there anymore. I have killed too many people in Ishbal and helping you was the only way I could clear my conscience. Killing more would murder me, I hope you understand that. _

_I want to say a few things to clear my head. I don't wanna disrupt anything in your life nor confuse you, I just wanna start over and letting all this pain go is the only way I could do that. Roy Mustang, ever since my eyes met your form, I was in love with you. I don't wanna sound like those romance books but, you've truly brought back the smile in me, you did not ruin my trust in you, you fulfilled your promise, and you never disappointed me . When you got married I wanted to pull you out of there, but I couldn't coz' you were happy, if being with her made you happy then I would never want to pull you away. I know my letter's going no where since there's just a lot I want to tell you and writing it isn't enough. _

_I want you to understand why I can't see you anymore, why I can't be in the Military, and why I want to start over. All I want you to do is not look for me ._

_I'm sorry… I fell in love with you._

_Sincerely,_

_Riza_

_I folded the letter in two and inserted it in an envelope, I sealed it up and hid it in my black romance book._

_I'm gonna send it when I'm off to another country, far from where I stood before and where I stand now._

_A place where I could be whoever I want to be and no one will remind me of the pain I've caused and the pain I'm going to leave behind._

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**I hope that was enough for the 2****nd**** chapter… the 3****rd**** chapter will revolve around the song "How Do You Sleep" by Jesse Mcartney… Please review if you find any error or you find it good...  
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